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Hello, my friends, I am not sure what to title this post should be but hopefully, by the time I finish writing, it comes to me. Yesterday we had the day off for Labor Day and I had intentions to cross off some big items on my to-do list around the house and spend some fun time with the boys.  However, mid-morning I received a call from my cousin that rocked me to my core. She called to tell me that my cousin Frank lost his battle with prostate cancer and had passed on. I couldn’t and still can’t believe it. He was such a healthy person and lived a very healthy and wholesome lifestyle. So I  kept saying why him? But one thing I have learned about this type of cancer is that if not detected early it can be fatal.  So before I continue, I tell you all to make sure you get regular colonoscopies. I know they aren’t pleasant but it can mean life or death. Often doctors dismiss testing if you aren’t in a certain age bracket or no family history. But I say, if you can, then do get tested. Enough of my rant.

When we lose people we love suddenly, it seems to force us to shift gears. To take stock of all the blessings in our lives. To slow down for a bit. To reach out and connect to ones we haven’t talked to in a long time.  My initial reaction, as you would expect was to cry. I sat in my room with the door closed because I didn’t want to frighten my boys. Then I began to make calls to my family members who weren’t informed to tell them the sad news. Each time, resurfacing my own grief. I thought about how he wouldn’t see his youngest finish her college years. He won’t see his grandkids, he won’t be there to support his son in the next chapter of his life post-college. How he and his wife won’t get to grow old together. I just couldn’t believe it. I also beat myself up for not keep in contact with him.

However, this year, I’ve been really working on myself. For those around me, they may or may not have noticed the difference but I have been shifting my perspectives and actions and grabbing hold of moments throughout each day to cherish. I’ve been keeping a gratitude journal daily.  Another thing I have been working on is I have been catching myself when my boys want to talk to me, looking at my book or iPhone and now I put it down then look into their eyes while they talk. Taking in their beautiful faces, listening to the sounds of their voices, loving that they still come to me with things. I can’t say I have mastered this or that I am always great at it but I try throughout the day to do it as often as I remember. I want them to know, I see them, I hear them and I am here for them. Because at the end of the day, the things don’t matter, the people do. So I will continue to process this loss by celebrating Frank’s greatness and striving to be better about my connections with all the people I care about. No more taking for granted that tomorrow will be there and simply celebrate the beauty of today.

I apologize for such a somber post but I always want to keep it real here. I have houseguests coming so I will not be posting as regular for the next week.

Have a blessed day my friends and thank you for taking the time to visit and comment. You matter to me.

Belinda

Comments

  1. Love you dear friend You’ll be in my thoughts.

  2. Oh Belinda, I am so very sorry for your loss. I am glad you are focusing more on your kids and the small pleasures in life. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

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