As I continue to grow and improve myself I look to people and resources to help me. I have a select few magazines I like to read for more opportunities of growth. I thought I would share my take away from an article on Hearing/Listening from Mindful magazine the February 2017 issue.

I am a strong believer that we all can cultivate a wonderful life through our daily practices. I read this article a long time ago but I feel like I need to revisit it. The art of deep listening is something that is fleeting for me. I don’t know if I can use the excuse of being in a time with so much technology and all of the various daily inputs and interruptions. But I remember when I first read the article I felt a deep sadness that I struggled so much with something that seems so basic as listening.

What I failed to let sink in is that giving someone my full attention is a skill that must be a regular practice in order to sharpen it. It must be a conscious effort to strengthen the skill. With a few weeks before my boys start school as well as my return to work, I have to to admit, I am all over the place with my attention preparing and planning. But the truth is focusing my full attention has escaped me on a regular basis. So a review of this article is just what I need right now.

Contrary to what we believe, we really can’t focus on multiple things at once. The brain simply doesn’t work that way. But I feel like our current culture with it’s smart devices and news tickers, create the sense that we can focus on multiple things at the same time. I, for one hate when you watch the news on TV and a news ticker rolls across the bottom of the screen. I find myself stressing, should I read it or listen to the news reporter?

This article talks about of all our communication skills, listening is the one most called upon and neglected. It is the key to learning and creating meaningful relationships and yet we take for granted it’s need to be strengthened.

What is listening?

Often we hear something and before we know it we’ve labeled, categorized, and shelved it. At its core, listening is really just taking time instead to experience what we’re hearing in the moment.

Listening is a skill that takes time and effort. Think of it as a daily practice.What I loved about this article is that it broke things down into manageable bites.

First you need to set clear intentions to be a better listener. This will give you something to reference when you check in with yourself so you can catch yourself when you drift off. This can be challenging because there is no one can hold you accountable because only you know what runs through your mind when you listen and how focused you are. Therefor you have to be clear and honest.

Once you recognize what you’re doing, take a deep breath, smile because you noticed, and redirect back to genuine listening. It’s like returning to your breath in meditation, noticing, and returning to your breath in meditation. And just like with meditation, noticing and returning to the present is really the goal. Your mind will drift away, so keep on coming back.

Once you set an intention to listen, you can work on going deeper in conversation.

Listening involves paying attention both to what another person is saying, and what that person is trying to communicate beyond words.

The article introduced a practice to help hone those listening skills and I plan on restarting it again for myself. It is called the HEAR practice and it can help you deepen your listening skills.

H.E.A.R.

HALT – Halt whatever you are doing and offer your full attention.

ENJOY – Enjoy a breath as you choose to receive whatever is being communicated to you – wanted or unwanted.

ASK – Ask yourself if you really know what they mean and if you don’t, ask for clarification. Instead of making assumptions, bring openness and curiosity to the interaction. You might be surprised at what you discover.

REFLECT – Reflect back to them what you heard. This tells them that you were really listening.

This is a great practice and it really helps you to slow down and be in the present moment. Let me know if you give it a try and be patient for you can begin again over and over with each opportunity you are presented with to listen.

Belinda